I learned once again that I have too many expectations and wishes. I often wish the culture were different. I wish people acted better. I wish I behaved better. Nothing has changed with the human race over the years. The turmoil and upheaval that was present thousands of years ago is still present now, but in a different time and in different ways. Commercialism is huge. The photo is from the balcony of my hotel room over the Sea of Galilee. (If they had not had nice big hotels, we would not have had a place to stay. OK)
I was picturing old Israel - the wedding parties, the wine, rubbing shoulder with the rich, people wanting healing and the best life had to offer. Others were down and out. Some were angry and surly. Others were disillusioned and needy.
Being away from home caused me to not only cry out to God, but to listen. My thoughts at the end of one of the first days, were troublesome.
"I don't know what to ask for, God. Clean my thoughts and emotions. Let me hear. Help. I'm selfish."
If God were speaking to me, it was in my heart as I said to myself, "This is how it is for now. God is in total control. I can draw from his peace-loving ways, his hope, and from the heart he has for all. The culture is the way it is. I can live in it as I fully live in Him.
From my journal:
Lord over the water
Lord over me.
Struggling with lights and noise
Are YOU here?
My thoughts shake
My body tenses.
The birds continue to sing
The sun still rises
People live here
The history is here.
Do I understand your impact here?
You are the King
These were only fleeting thoughts. Looking past all of the commercialism, I saw a depth of history and an overwhelming sense of God's plan. So many cultures are represented in the layers of this one place. What I am experiencing is what is here now.