I’m being patient with my behavior and thoughts. I gave myself grace as I stayed up all night until 5 am to think and process. The processing is good. I came to the conclusion that I can do nothing except learn to accept this pandemic. This is another difficult thing. It has always been difficult on earth. I have never gone through a tragedy that affects the whole world. Couldn’t have imagined.
Acceptance? Yeh, if I accept the worst and the worst doesn’t happen, maybe it will be easier. Acceptance is rest and it takes awhile. I am not there totally.
The hardest part is not knowing what is next and having no control. I can get groceries, run around my house picking up every piece of lint, have my kitchen spic and span, sweep five times a day, take showers, etc. I can try to rest my mind by turning off FB. But I have no control of who this virus will hit. It could be me. It could be everyone. I am starting to hear some stories now of people I know whose relatives are in bad shape. Mostly older people. Yikes, I’m an older person. OK. I accept that I could die. OK. I am going to make the most of every day.
What has come out of this that is good?
Learning to cry out to God
Deepening friendships, thanks to the phone and lots of time on my hands
Not being so self-sufficient
Thinking of creative ideas to help people
Expressing my faith
Being aware of my connections to the worldwide human race.
And lots more…..
Here is a Bible verse that I thought about. It makes clear that groaning is everyone's experience, especially those with hope.
22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children,[a] including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope[b] for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.) Romans 8:22
Brene’ Brown, a well-know writer talks about these pandemic times. She reminds us to be patient.
Listen. Ask for what you need. And don’t look to experts for certainty.
And I say God can do anything. He is perfect and good. That means we can trust him.