I have been feeling like a chick that has broken free from an egg. The egg represents the pull of a fast and frantic world.
The world, as we have known it to be, with its storehouse of things that we all crave, has caved. Advertisements, in the past, have bombarded us with every kind of gadget and service that makes life easy and fun.
So now, my life is smaller. I can't go to the grocery to get fresh fruits and vegies like I am accustomed to. I can't go into my favorite restaurant and eat with a friend. My activities and projects and job are confined to a cold computer. I cannot get my hair cut or go swimming. I can't see my grandkids. I can't travel and stay in hotels or homes of distant family members. No one can come into my house. I can't even go and help people!I am limited, and my style is cramped. Worst of all, I listen to world news, and hear horrible things.
So now what? Could this possibly be a time when I face myself and what is really important? I am rediscovering myself in the midst of this discomfort, this isolation, this anxiety, by asking questions. Is it OK to be without? Is it OK to be uncomfortable and not have what I want when I want it? Who am I? Am I what I do? Am I what I have? Am I the circles I run in?
I have asked myself some hard questions. I have sat with God. I have expressed my emotions. I have prayed for those who have lost way more than I have. I pray for the world. I pray for children. I have listened moment by moment to the still voice.
I, as a citizen of a country where I have freedom to be and do and have, take for granted all the choices, and a sense of entitlement erupts. God, help me.
May I say "we"? We, as a society, have had to put aside alot of cravings, but we have figured out ways to fulfill cravings in other ways. In order to be comfortable in our suffering, we hinder the growth that can come in having to feel the pain of things that are difficult. This is a time to strengthen our resolve.
In addition to all the "no's" in this world, can I continue to learn to say "no" to myself and what I want? Can I experience grief in a healthy way so I can grow? Will I cry out to God?
What can come out of this tragedy? What will life be afterwards. Have we looked at the "rat race" that we have subjected ourselves to, and told ourselves "No more"? Have we experienced enough? Life doesn't have to be complicated. Do we want the time we spend with ourselves and family to continue?
"Please, God, let us learn from this. Let us learn that life is more than things and being busy. Let each of us find his or her small piece in society and play it to the fullest. Most of all, let us keep our focus on You."
Like a fluffy chick freed from its smooth orb, let me be released into a new way of thinking and being, and let the egg shell be cracked enough so I can't go back.